Have you ever been frustrated with someone because they did not act or re-act in the manner that you “expected” of them? Even the small things like, they said they were going to be here for 5:00 and it is fifteen minutes later and they are still not here, or maybe they choose not to show up at all, or if you ask a friend for help and they do not respond or do not give you the answer you want to hear…do these experiences leave you feeling frustrated? Do you get angry or frustrated at people in your life that change their mind without giving you a reason or letting you know? These are just a couple of examples of how the intense energetic infusion of the last week has been playing out.
Do you ever have feelings of just wanting to be left alone to do what you want; not what others want you to do? Have you felt a weight of having to do for others because it is something that you “have to do”? These are all examples of the new energy that is offering us the opportunity to change our perspective from illusion to that of pure truth so we are able to enjoy the simplicity of Being. So let me ask you this…if you feel frustrated at the above experiences, do you think then that maybe the people in your life just might have the same feelings when you have expectations for them?
We have been taught to rely heavily on our expectations of others, which has caused many of us to become addicted to the energy. Expectations are a form of control and they create the illusion that we are addicted to. In other words, we have allowed ourselves to believe that if we remove our expectations of other people then we will become an open target and that anything can happen. Of course we choose not to do this because we often perceive this as weak, essentially making us feel vulnerable. In fact if we choose to release our intention to control everyone and everything in our lives so that we are open, then we have the opportunity to experience greatness from ourselves and others.
Expectations have created a sense of unease for lifetimes; this is nothing new to anyone who is experiencing a human physical life. Expectations are aspects of ourselves that we have focused on and cultivated with an intensity that only we know the full extent of our own. We have decided how we need to act and react to any and all experiences in our life, through our expectations of our desired outcome. Many of us have also decided how the people in our life should act around us, how they should treat us and what they need and should do for us. There are also many who have gone so far as to decide how and what others should do for themselves as well. We often camouflage our intent to control others by saying things like “I know they would be great at this” or “this is the best thing for them” or even “if only they would try this, I know they would love it”.
On a universal level, the questions that arise from this intention are quite simple, yet they are the questions that cause us to question everything we have done and experienced and often who we believe we are. Questions like;
· How do we truly know what is best for another Being?
· How do we feel that we know more about someone than they do themselves?
· How do we feel that it is our job to make decisions for another person who is clearly not ready to make their own?
I could go on, but I am sure you get the point. This is the current illusion versus truth we are being faced with and asked to transform within ourselves.
Of course as with any great lesson we are offered by the universe, we are given numerous opportunities in all aspects of our life to see where we have become immersed in the illusion. Expectations are a detrimental aspect of humanity that allows our emotions to take the lead in our life. The most effective way we can approach anything is by offering what we choose and allowing others to accept or decline. Also we must take care of ourselves and do whatever it is we want to do for ourselves, without relying on anyone else. Our life, our happiness, our fulfillment is not and will never be the responsibility of another Being. If we have chosen to put that expectation and responsibility on another Being, it is our own life that will always be left unbalanced and unfulfilled.
With so much intense energy focused on truth there is a dramatic amount of change occurring as we are being offered the opportunity to move into a more pure expression of who we really are. Change is not something many people are comfortable with nor is it something many look forward to, especially when we are being asked to release “things”, “habits” and “people” we have believed for so long to Be part of who we are. This current shift is also asking us to step up and admit that we have set expectations for those around us and that we now know it is inappropriate, ah yes; the good old ego is being challenged! No matter how major or minor change seems to be, it always affects us. This new energy is very different from anything we have experienced before ( I write this line so often I feel sometimes that is it over used, but there are no other words to express the fullness of the energy that I am doing my best to interpret).
For many, this energy has been uncomfortable to say the least. Change of this magnitude is overwhelming, especially when we perceive our world to be changing so much and that there just does not seem to be anything to hold onto any longer. Over the past four or so days, I have noticed so many people who are edgy, frustrated and annoyed. In the attempts that many are making to try and hold onto who they “think” they are, there has been an increase in arguments, disagreements and entanglements between friends, family, co-workers and many other relationships. Often when we go through intense change we become so immersed in our own experience that we forget that everyone around us is going through their own changes as well. This can be an intensified experience of setting expectations for those around us to support us as we experience our change and that we are shocked, hurt or annoyed when they choose not to.
This intense shift and infusion has brought agitation that runs rampant and there is a feeling of constantly wanting for something but the exact something is ever elusive to us. Often times when we are being asked to change the outer expression of ourselves to match more closely with the inner one, we become fearful. The fear is what causes us to look to the people and experiences in our lives and see who and what we can blame our unhappiness on. Rather than looking for truth and being open to hearing it and seeing it for what it is (so that we are able to transform an aspect of ourselves that is not as pure an expression as it could be), we choose to blame others or even grasp onto the belief that if we change those around us will be angry.
That is quite a decision we are making for other people and in fact the power of the energy that we are projecting onto them is what is actually causing so much friction and unhappiness in our own lives. It is when we choose to see the truth of who we are and realize that we alone hold our own happiness in our hands and that there is not another Being on the planet who we can blame or praise for the person we are then we will begin to see just how our life truly is an expression of the choices we have made.
Our life is our responsibility and our responsibility alone. We are the only one that we have to answer to and the only one who can choose change at any given moment. Likewise, all other people are the only ones who have the power in their lives. It is not our responsibility to make fundamental choices for them. Even children are a divine physical expression of a desire we had to create life. They are a human and physical responsibility in that you chose to create them, it is also a choice you have to nurture, protect and guide them to become independent Beings who respect and love themselves. The only way that this can fully occur is that if they experience You respecting and loving yourself.
Being true to oneself does not mean excluding the intent and contentment of all others, it means that when we truly follow our hearts desires, we will automatically be offered numerous people and experiences that will support the choices we have made. Relationships are not “work” they are conscious exchanges of energy. They become work when we expect anything from the other person. Some days we have more to give and other days we have less, when we choose to accept that and allow ourselves the ability to just Be who we are today in this very moment then we are able to allow those around us to Be themselves.
The only way to receive anything be it love, respect, compassion, joy, we must first choose to embody and embrace that energy within ourselves and resonate it throughout our experiences. Then we also must choose to receive it back to us. When we receive anything, it must be without limitations and rules, we must be open and willing to accept it as it was offered to us. Releasing the expectations of ourselves and others will allow them to release theirs of us. we can wait for them to do so first or we can consciously choose to release our expectations today and lead by the powerful energy of Being ourselves.
So take an honest look at your life right now, what are you being asked to change? Is it something you are comfortable with or something that is very challenging for you? Are you feeling fearful or excited at the prospects? If there is fear, which is most always evident through emotions of discomfort, being unsettled, resentment, frustration or anger. Then take a moment to ask yourself what illusion you are creating for yourself to feel this way? What do you not want to see in the illusion you have created for yourself? Are you choosing to cover up truth by making a mountain out of a mole hill in another area of your life?
The telltale sign of great change is often preceded by the inevitable anxiety, depression and hopelessness. Feeling like we are not sure where we belong, what we are meant to do and sometimes even why we are here at all. But then in a moment of divine and perfect timing when we finally release our resistance to change and our expectations of how things should turn out, we begin to experience the change that was intended for us.
The only person that you have the universal ability to control is yourself, which is why there is often so much frustration and annoyance when we “try” to control others. It is not only inappropriate, but it will never work. Even controlling ourselves is inappropriate, yet we will only begin to understand this when we begin to accept that the world was not created solely for our enjoyment. Rather it was created for the enjoyment of every conscious being who chooses to play here and that each and every Being is responsible for their enjoyment and their own experience.
The conscious decision to remove your focus and intention from the outcome of others’ lives and place it solely on your own life is exactly what we are being asked to do. Live life in a way that brings joy to your life through the experiences you choose. Choose how you are going to consciously interact with everyone in your life; family, friends, co-workers and strangers. Only you have the power to choose what is best for you, so it is time to take responsibility for your happiness and start making choices that bring Joy into your life. It is also time to stop making choices for others. If you have chosen to have another person in your life, then allow them to be who they ARE. Resist “trying” to make them into someone you “think” they should be and asking them to do things that you “think” they should do.
Let them be themselves and allow them to share with you all of the gifts that they have to offer. Remember that this change is deep and it is intense. If you have been doing your best to control another person or experience for quite some time, it will take time to change. Again, you must release your expectations of how everyone around you is or is not going to react to your new intention to be your self and let them be themselves….just another divine example of expectations and how they are so intricately woven into our belief system. Change takes time, and the only way to allow it to occur on the most purest of levels is to stay committed to your new intention.
Continue each and every day to maintain the commitment that you have made to yourself and your path; to be who you are and that you also allow others to be who they are. This dedication over time will allow those people around you to once again trust you completely and begin to offer you the same respect you are offering them. It may take a few months, but remember that you have cultivated within them this reaction to try to Be what you want for them, so you now need to cultivate a new relationship in which you are encouraging them to Be themselves. The only effective way to accomplish this new way of Being is to completely embody the energy of acceptance and Be yourself. Release the expectations you have of yourself, allow yourself to have good days and not so good days, but know that you are doing the best you possibly can each and every day to consciously allow yourself and everyone around you to choose what experiences you want as individuals.
As you experience the outcomes of this transformation you will begin to see just how much power you have. Power that when activated with truth and purity is unstoppable, immensely satisfying and completely fulfilling. You are the center of your world, just like everyone else is the centre of their world. We are individual Souls that are in this experience together. When we each choose to focus on our own choices then we allow this creation and the amazing abilities of synchronicity to occur and fulfill all of the dreams we have for ourselves and the dreams of all of the others in our lives. We must focus on ourselves as we are the only ones who have the power and choice to change our lives. If we really do what to offer support, love compassion to anyone around us, all we have to do is offer it to ourselves first and allow others to live the life they choose. It is in this divine act that we are able to offer more support to any cause we believe in and this is where we have the ability to change the world we now live in.
We cannot change others; we can only change ourselves. When we release expectations of ourselves and others we give transformation to opportunity to occur in our lives and in the lives we touch.
Your life is what you make it, so what are you consciously choosing today?
From the Heart,